Friday, December 30, 2005

Rebecca and Mema!

Here is the newest little member of our ever growing family. I am the oldest member and she is the youngest! She seems to be smiling already, but I think that is just the shape of her little mouth. Her eyes appear to be blue and her hair is dark. We think she is beautiful! She is about 15 hours old in this picture.

I didn't want to put her down!

Telephone Vigil

I am keeping a phone vigil tonight. I am waiting for news of the birth of a new granddaughter. Her name will be Rebecca Alysee. She isn't due until Jan. 15th, but babies seem to come when they are ready and not by our time table.

Her older brother (the 9 year old that was supposed to come and spend a couple days here) is at his other Grandma's with his 2 year old brother. It is closer and easier for Daddy to have them both at the same place. The usual granddaughter went home today also instead of staying. She decided that she missed her Mom so we gathered all her belongings and delivered her safely home.

NEWS FLASH!!! My son just called and we have a new granddaughter. She was born at approximately 12:50 AM Dec. 30, 2005. She weighs 7 pounds, 11 ounces, is 19 inches long and they named her Rebecca Alysee. I can't wait to go and hold her tomorrow late morning. Mommy, Rebecca and Daddy are all fine and will now be able to get some rest. And that is where I am going too. To bed and hopefully to sleep. Goodnight baby Rebecca!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Out with the old and in with the new.....

.....I think that's how that saying goes! It will be the New Year soon. I wonder what it will hold for my loved ones, family and friends! I hope it holds good health, happiness, stable jobs, and comfortable financial assets!

I need to take down all the Christmas decorations today. I've left them up longer than I usually do. I like to start the New Year out with a spic and span clean house which I always accomplish by putting all the decorations away, rearranging the furniture, vacuuming, mopping floors, etc. Maybe I should break away from that tradition this year. No one will really know but me anyway!

We still have the usual granddaughter with us. She is supposed to go home today but she called her mom last night when she found out that another grandchild (her 9 year old cousin) is coming tonight to spend a couple days with "mema and bumpa" and asked if she could stay. Her mother gave her permission and now she plans on staying until New Years Day. I think our youngest grandson, the one year old, will be coming today for us to watch while his mom does some errand running. We really enjoy having him.....he is so refreshing! I truly believe that grandchildren are Gods compensation for growing older!

We will probably spend New Years Eve very quietly sitting right here at home. We will be lucky if we are able to stay awake until midnight! We just don't feel the need to celebrate the way we did in our younger days.....after all, it is just another day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

All Done ~

Finally, I have finished my Christmas shopping and am in the process of doing the wrapping.

I got up this morning with hubby to make him some oatmeal before he left for work and stayed up to begin wrapping. I do it in spurts so I don't get a sore back! I took several small breaks and at around 7 AM decided to take a big break and have some breakfast and coffee myself but decided to sit down first in the "comfy" chair and watch the weather. I awoke at 8:40.....a little bigger break than I was anticipating.

Our festivities will begin Friday night when my oldest son and his family come for their gift exchange. Actually the gift exchange Friday will only be with his wife. She is not able to come on Christmas day when everyone else will be here due to her commitment at her church. So we will be lucky this year and get my son and his two sons on Friday and Christmas day.

Saturday, Christmas Eve, is the set time that my hubby's family always gets together to celebrate Christmas. The group consists of his Mom, 5 siblings and their spouses and children, 10 grandchildren this year plus one great grandchild. All crammed into a small living room no bigger than 9'x12'. It is very crowded and we have all begged her to let one of the children host the celebration in their home where there would be more room and yet she insists on having it at her home! No one stays very long at this celebration anymore mainly because it is too crowded to even move with that many people and it seems to get very warm! They are an ornery group anyway, and the crowding and heat only seem to make it worse as tempers become short. I think they all need a lesson on the true meaning of Christmas! Maybe that will squelch their foul moods and nasty attitudes!

Christmas Day will be celebrate in our home with our children, all except for the expectant daughter and the grandchildren in Kentucky. It is a much happier celebration than the one on Christmas Eve. Oh, there will be the usual bickering amongst the small children over who plays with what toy, but they are usually able to work it out after a few rounds of screaming and tears.

After the festivities, the only one remaining will be the usual granddaughter. She will spend a few days with us here before she returns to her home. The hubby will be off work until Jan. 3rd and we will rest up and be lazy and just enjoy each other.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

I was honored.... my 13 year old granddaughter at Grandparents Day at her school. She did a beautiful job making a poster with pictures of me and my sisters when we were children and one of my senior picture. She wrote a short biography of my life events from the interview she was required to do. The following are excerpts from the biography:

"My grandma has always loved all of her family. They are mainly the biggest part of her life. Both of her parents were very loving and family oriented. She misses them terribly and the fact that saddens her the most is that her parents never got to meet any of her children or grandchildren. Her first husband, Dave who passed away in 1975, was always very kind to her and he was joyful and happy at everyone of his children's births. Her second husband, Tom, has always been there for her and the rest of our family. Even though he isn't blood-related, he will still always be a wonderful part of our family."

"My grandma is such a wonderful influence on everyone. She has a positive attitude towards everyone and everything. She has a positive outlook on life that everyone admires. She always tries to find the good in people and something to be happy and cheerful about and to keep looking up and not get down and depressed very often. She inspires me to also have a positive attitude and outlook on life. I love my grandma for everything she is, with all my heart. I would never want her to change. It takes more muscles to smile than to frown."

How great is that? I don't think I could have received a higher honor anywhere else in the world!

I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family, children and grandchildren, and especially at this special time of year I am so very thankful for each and every one of them.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Well, I just got off the treadmill! I walked for a total of 30 minutes and went a mile at a speed of 2.3 mph! Got my heart rate up to 125 which is good for me since I am on a calcium channel blocker and a beta blocker and the tend to keep your pulse and heart rate pretty low; like in the 50's.

Have a very busy day ahead of me. I have to go to the store and buy the ingredients to make Rice Pudding to take to my granddaughters school tomorrow morning for Grandparents Day. And my middle son is bringing his two little ones (age 3 & 2) over at 5:30 so we can watch them while he goes to his Christmas Party from work. They will be here until between 9:30 and 10:00 tonight. These are the same little ones with the Mom who forgets to pick them up! I asked my son if I were going to be "burned" again this time and he assured me that I would not. Time will tell. I haven't seen this children since the last time I watched them and posted about them and they only live about 6 miles from me. That was quite a while back now, I hope the 2 year old won't scream when he leaves her!

I also have to get busy today and wrap some of the presents that I do have. I don't want to leave it all for the last minute and have it be too big a job all at once. The usual granddaughter will be coming this weekend and I need to wrap hers and hide them in my closet. She's not a snooper, but I don't want her to find them in the coat closet where they are now stored.

So, I'm off to run my errands!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Getting Healthy ~ Staying Healthy

For those of you who are regular visitors you are aware that hubby suffered a major heart attack in November and that I also have had heart attacks and heart surgery in the past.

Hubby's brother has been using hubby's compound bow for the last few years and in fact has kept it at his house instead of returning it at the end of each bow hunting season. Brother and his wife had a treadmill almost brand new that they never use. Hubby traded his bow for the treadmill and we will now begin a walking routine to maintain our health. It'll be like having the YMCA right here at home!

In fact, I already began. I walked for 20 minutes this morning and clocked a big whopping speed of 2 mph and walked a total of 1/2 mile. Doesn't seem like much does it? But since I haven't walked in quite some time I figured it was a good start. I hope to benefit two ways from this: 1) improving my health and getting in better condition, 2.) losing some weight. Just think, if I can lose enough maybe I will even buy a two-piece bathing suit for this coming summer.....NOT! Some things are just not to be tried by a 59 year old woman!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Hubby Health Update......

Just a little note to update everyone on Hubby's status.

He has been to the cardiologist and has been cleared to return to work beginning Monday with no restrictions. He has made a miraculous recovery in spite of the fact that this was a massive heart attack in his left coronary artery. The doctor told us that not many people survive such a major attack.

Hubby has instructed me to thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts and good wishes. We are sure they helped him recover so quickly.

Thank you all and Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Politically Correct?

There was an article in our local paper regarding the "politically correct" way to refer to what in my household is called the "Christmas Tree."

According to the article the correct way to refer to it is now the "Holiday Tree" so as not to offend anyone who is of a religious following that doesn't celebrate Christmas. WHAT? I am offended by this new wording! A local city is not having a Lighting of the Christmas Tree in the park this year. It is called just the Tree Lighting Ceremony.

The way I have it figured out is that since we can no longer refer to our Christmas Tree as such in public anymore then the press shouldn't be allowed to make any reference to anything to do with Kwanza or Menorraha's of the Jewish faith.

The Government is already trying to take any mention of God out of all public places and now they are trying to alter the way we refer to part of our traditional celebration of Christmas. How long are we going to stand by and allow this to happen. This is supposed to be a free country and to me that means being able to speak of things I wish to speak private or public....and not worry about sounding "politically correct".

Okay, I'm off my soapbox ~~~~~~~~for now at least!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

No matter how hurt/angry I have been, it is good to have hubby home! I keep trying to get past my hurt feelings yet they keep jumping up like a jack-in-the-box to stare me in the face. And then I realize that it isn't just this one episode....there have been several and this last one may be the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. Maybe I can't get over it as easily as I had hoped.......perhaps I need to see a shrink.

Then I begin to feel guilty for not being able to put this behind me. After all, this was a major event in his life happened to him this time, not me. I should feel more loving toward him and understanding. Don't get me wrong, I do love him. But something inside me feels different. I have tried to put it into words but am unable to do so. I can't give it a name and that bugs me almost as much as not being able to get past it. It almost feels as if we have lost that closeness, that "connectedness" if that is even a word, with each other. And maybe he doesn't feel it. Perhaps it is just me. And if so, what do I do next? Do I confront him with it and try and talk it out or seek professional help? A part of me wants to crumble in his arms and cry and tell him exactly how hurt I have been and another part wants to keep it inside. Not share least until he's stronger and healthier and has had more of a chance to heal. But doing that just erodes more of my feelings.

Oh, if only I had the answers now! I will keep praying about them and try to be patient awaiting some kind of guidance from the Lord. It is not easy for me to wait this time but that is the only thing that I can do.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Safe at home at last!

It is Sunday morning and the rest of the house is still asleep.

The hubby made it home safely and arrived here about 7:45 last evening. He looks good and sounds good but mood wise he seemed a little agitated. Maybe it is due to the length of the trip from deer camp back home. I hope there is an improvement when he wakes up this morning.

It is very foggy here due to a considerable warm up. The temperature outside right now is 40 degrees. I hope it will clear up before I have to take the usual granddaughter on the 30 mile one-way-trip to return her to her house.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Will Bwana Return As Planned?

It is Saturday and the hubby is due home sometime. There is a question of whether or not he will be able to get here. Where he was, there have been blizzard warnings for the last few days. I'm hoping the roads are not too bad and he can get here.......even though I seem to still be upset with him over this whole ordeal!

Thanksgiving was wonderful, good food and great company. But my daughter and her family are always a lot of fun to be with. Everyone in her family had a cold except for her 13-year old daughter, so they were feeling a little tired and sniffly. None of my boys was supposedly hunting and one was having dinner with his in-laws and the other one was home in bed with a fever! His wife and son stopped for a while to visit but since the roads were pretty nasty they didn't stay too long. Fortunately none of us had too far to go. My other daughter lives in Kentucky with her two children and a third on the way and decided not to travel this year for the holidays.

On Friday, the oldest son came out to visit with his two sons, ages 2 and 8. The two year old is beginning to talk and repeats everything he hears. The grandchildren's name for me is "Mema". To hear this adorable 2-year old walk around my house calling my name sounds like music to me! The 8-year old and the usual granddaughter played outside, sledding and rolling in the snow while my son shoveled my driveway. The 2-year old stayed in and played with toys and talked my ear off. If only I could understand "baby babble".

Today the usual granddaughter and I will clean the house and spend time watching some movies we rented and just enjoy being with each other before she has to go home to her Mom tomorrow.

Life is good!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Cookies, sledding, hot chocolate, decorations and a warm fire!

That is how the usual granddaughter and I spent our day. It started with baking cookies to take to my daughter's for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. M&M cookies.....mmmmmm!

We quickly followed it with a round of sledding in the back yard. Well, she went sledding and I and the dog watched and threw some snowballs at her. When she was finally soaked all the way through her snowpants she was ready to call it quits and come in for some hot chocolate. Heaven forbid she should fall asleep while snuggled in under a warm fleece blanket so she just had to have me get the Christmas decorations out because the movement of her helping to unpack them would wake her and a nap would then be out of the question!

I must say that the house does look very festive with all the jolly snowmen sitting around smiling at us and the candles offer their own ambiance.

Our dinner is now over and that mess is cleared up and it is now time to get her in the tub so she will be all clean and shiny bright for the short jaunt to my daughter's house. I think I will then build us a fire......maybe we will even roast some marshmallows!

Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you and God Bless!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A Scary Event

It is Sunday, November 20, 2005. It is 2:59 AM. I am posting this and typing now because it may be the only chance I have for a while to do so.

I have just returned from two days in Marquette, MI. My hubby was deer hunting up near there. He was lucky enough to have shot a six point buck. He was UNLUCKY enough to make a trip to the emergency room of Marquette General Hospital on Friday late afternoon or early evening. I got the call at 8:27 P.M. Friday night. He had a heart attack and they were taking him to the Heart Catherazation Lab and if needed they would also do any procedure at that time to ensure his survival!

Our youngest son, the usual granddaughter and his mother and I headed for the U.P. By the time we notified everyone that we had to contact we were finally on our way at around 11 P.M. It is usually a 10 hour drive, but we made it in just over 7 1/2 hours. We hit very little traffic and the weather was most co-operative. Our arrival time ~ 6:30 A.M.

Upon arriving and finding him , with some difficulty , his Doctor came and talked to us and informed us that this was a "MAJOR" heart attack. And......because he waited so long to seek medical attention, he will have some permanent damage to his heart. It is too early to say for sure just how much, but they know there will be some. He will have an echocardiogram in the future and that should give them a good idea of how much damage there is.

He will be in there 5 days in all. He should be released on Wednesday. His wish is to return to deer camp......not to hunt.......just to sit and enjoy the camaradarie and relax. I must say that I am a bit hurt to think he would prefer that over coming home under the circumstances, but I am trying to be understanding. It is hard to do. After driving all night just to get there to be with him and being deprived of sleep for a couple of days I am having a hard time with this one, LORD! Also, on Saturday he asked us to leave and just go home and take care of business. He wanted his son to return to work because he knows they need the money, he was concerned for the usual granddaughter missing any school and homework, he was worried about his mother's health because of her diabetes, and of course he was afraid that I would become to stressed and have another heart attack myself. So I am trying to look at it from a new viewpoint......that being the one that if that is where he wants to be perhaps his recovery will be faster if he is happy there for a couple of days after his release. Maybe he feels the need to really commune with nature after the ordeal he has been through and I will just accept that and put it behind me and go on from there. After all, things could always be worse, I could be planning a funeral. I will count my blessings and move on!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Bwana ~ The Great White Hunter

The hubby called me this morning. The connection from his cell phone wasn't very good but it was nice to hear his voice. I guess I miss him more than I thought......but that is a good thing!

He called to ask me to contact his brother before he leaves to go to deer camp. Seems they need a few things that they hadn't thought about before they left.

He also wanted to share the news that he shot a BUCK! I'm not fond of venison, but I had to be happy for him. The excitement and joy in his voice was something I am glad I had the opportunity to hear. It wasn't a big buck by any standards ~ six points isn't huge ~ but still after many years of hunting in the U.P. and coming home with only a "cold" this is a red letter trip!

He shot it with his hand gun at 75 yards through the hardwoods with one shot. Even though it was done in fun, we won't be making jokes about his hunting skills anymore!

I asked him if he was coming home now that he had his buck. His reply ~ "I still have another weeks vacation and I can help the other guys look for a buck with their name on it."

Oh well.........I should have known better anyway!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Deer Hunting and Snowy Cold Weather

Last year we had quite a bad snowstorm beginning the day before Thanksgiving. My oldest son came to my house with his two boys that day and promptly became snowed in with me. The same evening, with all the snow blowing and howling the furnace decided to go on strike. At first I thought that the pilot had just been blown out but I was unable to light it and finally gave in and called the repair people.

It took them several hours to arrive due to the weather conditions and a backlog of furnace problems that were called in before mine. When the repairman finally arrived I told him how sorry I was to have to make him come out when the weather was so awful, but we did need heat. He rudely told me that he was sorry to have to be out on a night like that too, and while he was speaking to me I could smell alcohol on his breath. I was quite shocked that someone who was on call for repairs would be drinking when the chance of having to go out and drive somewhere was a very strong possibility. I told him what the furnace was doing and he acted very disgusted with me. After checking the furnace, he lit the pilot and told me I should have tried that before I called for a repairman. I informed him that I had tried that, but it wouldn't stay lit and I thought since we had this problem a couple of years before it was possibly the same problem which was a bad thermo-coupler. He snorted while filling out his paperwork and left without waiting to see if the furnace would start up again after finishing the cycle.

Needless to say, the furnace didn't restart and the pilot was out again. I placed another call to the repair number and of course was told this time that it would not be possible to get a repairman any more that night and they would have one there the next day (Thanksgiving Day) by no later than 5 PM.

So my son went to my shed and brought in some electric heaters so we, nor the pipes, would freeze during the long, cold night. When morning arrived we had breakfast and my son took his little ones and left for my daughter's home for the traditional Thanksgiving dinner while I was forced to wait for the repairman. After he finally arrived around 3 PM and checking the furnace he announced that the thermal-coupler was bad! You can imagine how upset I was at that point and I tell him about the other repairman with the alcohol on his breath and he asked to see a copy of the work order that I signed. I showed it to him and he took some notes and then proceeded to fix my furnace. Mission accomplished and he was off to his family and I was off to mine.

Now press the FF key on the remote control and that brings us to today. We have had some very windy weather lately and there have been numerous power outages from which we had been spared .......until today! I woke this morning around 8:30 and decided to lounge in bed basking in the warmth of the covers for a short time. When I decided to venture out, there was no need for lights since it was fairly light outside. I used the bathroom, flushed the toilet, washed my hands and came downstairs to make some coffee only to discover that the electricity was off. We live in a suburb/rural area and do not have city water or sewer. We have a well and a septic system and when the power is out one flush of the toilet uses what water is stored in the tank and it won't flush again.

I called the electric company to report the problem and they told me that the best estimate for restoring my power was 11 PM on Thursday. Very inconvenient but I can survive. The weather has taken a turn for the worse and the temperature has dropped into the low 30's and it is now snowing and sleeting. I have 2 fireplaces so at least I won't freeze and if need be I can always roast some hotdogs over the fire. But I would like a hot cup of coffee. Brilliant idea! I will get in the car and drive to the local gas station for a cup. But wait. I will have to release the cord that goes to the electric garage door opener first so I can manually lift the garage door. OH NO! There isn't any cord that I can see. Now I am a hostage in my own home!

My middle son stopped over and I tell him of my dilemma and he goes to check it out. He finds the cord and tells me that the reason I didn't see it was that someone had wrapped it around a beam and even if I had seen it, I never would have been able to reach it. He takes care of it for me so I am no longer a hostage! By this time, it is almost noon. After he leaves, I decide to finish putting my shoes and socks on for warmth and also to drive to the gas station for that cup of coffee when I notice a noise. Hooray! The noise is the furnace running......the power is back on and I can get on with my day.

The point of this story is that none of this stuff happens when the hubby is home. It waits until he is 12 hours away in Michigans' Upper Peninsula and I must deal with it on my own. I'm beginning to think there is a conspiracy going on!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Hey, my trees are naked!

We had another wind storm here yesterday. All of the trees around here are now naked. That is not exactly the way that I would normally describe them. However, I took care of my three year old nephew today and he informed me, with much surprise in his little voice, that my trees were naked! I had trouble not laughing out loud but I didn't dare since he was so serious about it!

While driving home from a neighboring town late this afternoon, I realized that most of the trees are now "naked". Far from the beauty of the brilliant fall colors of only a few short weeks ago. And yet, there was beauty in the bare branches with the lavender and pink from the sky bathing them in a soft light.

In all the past years, I had never noticed how beautiful the trees are with their unadorned branches majestically reaching for the sky. Without their "clothes" on, one can see the many curves and intricate arches they make in their upward spiral of reaching toward Heaven.

I must remember to thank my nephew for pointing out the "naked trees" to me and tell him when he is older that he taught me to appreciate the beauty in them..........through the eyes of a child!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Everyone is needed and plays a KEY role!

Just a little note to explain this post before you read it.

I have a friend whose children are now grown and the last one has just recently left "the nest." She is feeling very unneeded and unimportant lately. Although the following was written more for the workplace, it can be applied to life in general. May this help you, my friend!

Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works wxll xxcxpt for onx of thx kxys. I'vx wishxd many timxs that it workxd pxrfxctly. Trux, thxrx arx 42 kxys that function, but onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxncx.

Somxtimxs, it sxxms to mx that our organization is somxwhat likx my typxwritxr - not all thx pxoplx arx working propxrly. You might say, "Wxll, I'm only onx pxrson. It won't makx much diffxrxncx." But you sxx, an organization, to bx xfficixnt, nxxds thx activx participation of xvxry pxrson. Thx nxxt timx you think your xfforts arxn't nxxdxd, rxmxmbxr my typxwritxr, and say to yoursxlf, "I am a kxy pxrson and thxy nxxd mx vxry much!"

I found this in some of the things that were my mothers. I don't know who originally wrote this piece, but I hope it will help my friend put her life back in perspective.

Friday, November 11, 2005


I'm back from my doctor appointment and all is well. My blood pressure was down to 146/85 which is an excellent reading.....I thought! The Dr. thought differently. "Hmmm"....he said. "I think you are a good candidate for this new machine I have." Who me? "It doesn't hurt a bit, your insurance will cover it, and it will help me better know what's going on inside your heart!" Oh-oh! Sounds invasive to me! "And furthermore, it will help me to better be able to prescribe medicine to control your blood pressure and keep your arteries and heart healthier. If we can do that, we can probably keep you from developing congestive heart failure in the future." Wait a minute ~ I didn't even know that was a possibility! But if it will work it sounds like a plan to me, especially since you now have me scared and my blood pressure is most likely rising due to that last statement!

"The Mayo Clinic is using a machine exactly like this as a diagnostic tool for cardiac patients ." Great! I wonder how much my insurance co-pay will go up to help pay for this contraption.

So, the nurse comes in with what looks like an EKG cart they use at the hospital. She proceeds to place four electrodes on me, one on each side of my neck just behind my ears, and one on each side just below where my bra rests. I'm thinking....wonderful, now I can itch like crazy for the next 48 hours due to my allergy to the adhesive. The nurse explains that this machine is much more accurate at measuring blood pressure than their cuffs and can also tell how much blood is actually flowing through your heart arteries and how much resistance is there. It also gives them your pulse, fluid level inside your heart, and of course it gives them an EKG.

After the test is complete I am asked to wait until it is read and the Dr. will then come back in and speak with me. What was supposed to be a 15 minute visit has now turned into an hour visit. The results are that I need to be on another medicine also, called a calcium channel blocker; my beta blocker needs to be reduced by 25mg since my blood pressure is 128/82; my hydrochlorothiazide needs to be reduced by 12.5mg but everything else is great. Oh yeah, and come back in one month to have the test run again (more money) with this machine so we can see if the changes are working.

So the trip to the Dr. which should have taken 45 minutes at the most ended up taking 2 hours and 10 minutes and should have cost me $20. now cost me $40.

And to top it off, when I came home the dog was acting funny so after a check of the house I found that she had vomited on my new carpeting. I cleaned that mess up and looked at the clock and figured out my day was pretty well used up and I didn't get any of the things done that I had planned on.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Late last night, a very loud storm moved into our area. I love the lightning! The "dog" however, does not!

It started around 11 or so, but didn't get really loud until midnight. I guess I should start with the reason the dog hates storms. Three years ago on the Fourth of July a big storm blew in during the annual parade. The sirens were going and the wind picked up and it started to downpour. My son and his son and the usual granddaughter and I ran for the car.

After arriving home, the dog wanted to go out. It seemed that the storm had passed by that time, so I let her out the door on her cable in the back yard. She hadn't been out there more than a few minutes when I saw this very bright flash of light. I knew instinctively what it was and was headed for the door to let her in. I wasn't quick enough. The thunder followed so closely on the heels of the lightning that I was sure it had hit right next to the house. I was surprised to see that it had hit a tree in the next door yard. Needless to say, the dog was in a state of panic. She has hated storms ever since and who can blame her.

Now, whenever a storm comes, she finds me no matter where I am in the house. She wants to sit on my lap for comfort. Being a rather large dog of 50 pounds that is almost impossible. To accommodate her, I sit on the floor and she places her head in my lap and tries to bury her head any place she can. We remain like this until the storm has passed. Last night it took several hours. When it finally quit, she looked at me as if it were my fault it had stormed and promptly left me to lift my now stiff body off the floor and go and find a more comfortable place to lay her head.

And for this attitude I sit up all night with her? Yeah you bet.....and will do so as long as she needs me!

Monday, November 07, 2005


.......are some of the first words out of the "usual" granddaughters mouth upon arriving at our house to spend the night! We are lucky enough to have two fireplaces in our new home and often enjoy the warmth and magic of "having a fire"!

Besides adding additional heat to the house to avoid having the boiler run so often, it is very relaxing to sit there and stare into the flames. The granddaughter likes to have hot chocolate while we drink our coffee or whatever.

She asked me what I saw in the fire and I responded with "flames". I in turn, asked what she saw in the fire and she said she saw different pictures that the flames make as they move and flicker about. I told her that I thought their movements sometimes resembled dancing and darting around the logs. She agreed. We all became silent, lost in our own thoughts, staring into the beautiful flames.

When next I looked at her, she had fallen fast asleep. I gazed over at Bumpa (the grandchildren's name for Grandpa) and noticed that he, too, was somewhere in the "Land of Nod", snoring softly, even though he claims he has never snored in his life. I left them both to sleep for a short time, enjoying the flames and warmth of the entire evening and a feeling of "I'm so happy to be here." If only I could carry this feeling around in my purse with me..........

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Unwelcome surprise

Now that the leaves have all fallen off most of the trees around here, we have found a rather interesting item. It is some kind of paper wasp nest. It is quite large. Probably the size of a mis-shapen basketball! As soon as the weather turns considerably colder and we are sure that the occupants are "dormant" we will remove it.

Our dog has also noticed the nest. She was outside with me yesterday when a group of crows flew overhead making a bit of a racket. She tilted her head up to look at the crows when she spied the nest. She is a rather smart dog, but I'm sure that she didn't recognize it for what it is. She probably just noticed there was something that was different than the rest of the tree.

When she gets excited the hair along her back, from the tip of her tail up to the top of her head, stands straight up! It is about 3 inches wide and I think it looks funny. Some people are totally intimidated by her appearance when this happens, which is what "Prancer" has in mind, I'm sure.

So Prancer and I are standing in the yard and her hair is standing up and she is doing this funny little dance of prancing from one front foot to the other (hence the name Prancer), staring up at the nest in the tree and making this strange guttural growling sound. One of my neighbors happens to be walking by and keeps looking at the dog and finally looks up in the tree. She asks me if I know that there is a large nest of some sort in my tree and I answer "yes". She then proceeds to ask me what is wrong with my dog. I pointed to the nest and said that the dog had also spotted the nest and didn't know what to make of it and perhaps the dog thought that this nest was some kind of critter such as a squirrel and she wanted to play with it and chase it around. My neighbor then states that she doesn't think it resembles a squirrel at all. DUH!!!

Some days it just doesn't pay to have conversations with some people!

Thursday, November 03, 2005


One week from tomorrow the hubby leaves for his annual deer hunting trip to Michigan's Upper Penninsula. He won't be home until the 27th. This is a tradition amongst the men in his family. At least, it used to be. But as the older members become too old to go or have passed away, the younger ones have finally wised up to the importance of spending the Thanksgiving Holiday with wives and children. Except for those between the ages of 30 - 60. They still seem to have "buck fever".

It would be one thing if they ever came back with a buck, but none of them seem to want to shoot them when they actually see them in the forest! In my opinion they should just take their cameras. At least they could take a snapshot and bring that home to show us all that they have at long last seen something even if they choose not to shoot it.

I find all of these preparations quite silly. Why do they purchase ammo and spend hours "sighting" their rifles and shotguns in when they don't shoot them. That isn't entirely correct. They do shoot their cans, bottles and signs on trees.

Hmmmm, I wonder how you cook those items?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


My youngest son has three children with two different moms. The oldest is the "usual granddaughter" and the other two are a three year old little boy and a two year old little girl. All three are sweet and adorable in my eyes.

I have a good relationship with "usual granddaughter's" mom. The mom of the other two.....not so good. He is still with her, for whatever reasons.

Last Friday "she" called and asked me to watch the two. I said "okay" for two or three hours because I had other things to do later. She said that would be great and she would bring them over. I made it clear that I could not keep them overnight this time. I am always hesitant to take them because she often doesn't tell my son that they are supposed to pick them up at a certain time and then I end up keeping them overnight because I can never locate them. Now, mind you I'm not making excuses for my son. He is not perfect either.

Back to Friday. She dropped them off at 3PM and said that she would be back by 5, 6 at the latest! She had a friend with her, so I had a witness this time! And she left her cell number this time! At 7 PM, I started trying to reach her. She didn't answer her phone. At 7:30 I tried again and got the message that the number was unavailable. At 8 PM, I dug out some car seats and loaded the little ones in the car to drive to the apartment where they live. They weren't there. I proceeded to drive to her friends apartment and she also wasn't there.

I don't mean to complain, but by this time I am quite angry. My blood pressure was probably out of sight, since earlier in the week when I was at the Drs. it was 197/98. Yes, I am on meds for it. To give you some idea of where I am coming from; three years ago I had quadruple bypass surgery after fighting CAD for 10 years and having had 3 heart attacks. I don't t tell people this for sympathy. Just stating the facts.

As the children and I were leaving, the friend showed up and told me that mom and dad were in the parking lot outside. We ran out and were able to catch them. I asked what happened and why she wasn't there on time to pick them up and why she didn't answer her phone or call me and give me an explanation. Her answer? "My phone battery was dead". It's always something with her. I said rather snidely that is why I don't watch these two as often as they would like me too. My son apologized and said thank you. She said nothing. I got in my car and left.

Fast forward to Sunday night about 6:30 PM. My son calls and asks me if I can watch the kids Monday from 7:30 AM to 4:30 PM. He has to work and she is supposed to be attending some class. I can only think it is some kind of class for the welfare benefits she receives, but I don't know that for sure. Anyway, I tell him that I have other plans already and remind him of how upset I was by the fiasco Friday night. He thanks me anyway and hangs up to try and line up a different sitter.

Now it's Tuesday and he stopped over to say "hi". He is obviously upset. I ask what is wrong and he tells me that she is angry and making things miserable for him since I wouldn't watch the kids on Monday. He states that he totally understands where I am coming from and she is just being "nasty about it."

Well, he is gone now and here I sit feeling guilty! And I know that I shouldn't feel this way. She has brought this on herself by not picking them up in the past when she said she would. Should I just forget about the past and continue to be used or do I stand up and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" ?

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Well, here I am....wide awake at 4:29 AM. So I decided to drink some coffee because I'm sure that I'm not going to get back to sleep anyway. I believe it is due to the change in Daylight Savings Time plus the fact that I went to bed earlier than usual anyway to prepare for the awakening this morning of an overnight guest! My youngest grandchild.....the one year old!

He arrived around 6 PM yesterday. He was as excited to see me as I was to see him! It's a mutual "I think you're great" type of thing. He is in the beginning phase of walking now. It makes me chuckle to watch him toddle about and almost lose his balance and stop and concentrate for a second to regain control of his movements with a big grin on his adorable little face! I'm sure that if I fell that many times in a day, I would just stay down and not get up. Of course, the floor is much closer to his "bottom" than it is to mine.

It's a nice break for all of us to have him spend the night. Mom and Dad get a well deserved evening to themselves and Grandma and Grandpa get some quality time with him. So, I will sit here with my cup in hand and anticipate the awakening of that small cherished little boy so we can play together before his parents come to take him back.

Saturday, October 29, 2005


My kitchen sink has a window just above it. Which is nice when I have to be there for any length of time (doing dishes, etc.) Outside this window is a planter with some still beautiful and colorful and still alive flowers.

When I was pouring my first cup of coffee this morning I noticed two pretty plump looking birds in the planter. They were slate gray in color with just a touch of white on the very edge of their wing feathers. I think they are Juncos but I am not very good at bird identification unless it is very obvious and a bird that almost everyone can recognize.

On my second trip for coffee, and discovering it was all gone thanks to the hubby, a very bright red cardinal landed in the bush just off to the right of the window. I have seen these many times in past years but not as up close as this one was. I never realized before how BIG they are. Even their beaks are larger and thicker than I had thought. And the beak is more orange in color than I imagined.

So I stood there watching in amazement as this colorful cardinal sat there looking around and was pleasantly surprised by the gathering of several different kinds of birds mostly sparrows,
with a couple of bluejays, goldfinches, morning doves and even a robin mixed in.

Frost was still on the ground but somehow they didn't seem to mind. I was wondering what they will do for food when the really cold weather arrives, and that's when I decided that I will have hubby build me some bird feeders so I can feed these little feathered friends. My only problem will be trying to find a way to keep the squirrels out of the feeders and the local feral cats away!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I have 11 grandchildren. Today is the youngest one's (a darling, adorable little boy) first birthday. He is truly a miracle child and has us properly wrapped around his finger just as the 10 did that came before him. I've written of him before......the little guy with eyes so like his mother's. Happy Birthday Little Man!

I was lucky enough to be able to spend a good portion of the day with him and his mother, my daughter ~ my friend! We didn't do anything grand. We went shopping and ran some errands. But it doesn't matter what we did.......I was with two very important people in my life and enjoying every minute of it.

Tomorrow we will celebrate his first birthday with a party at his home. It will be a great gathering of relatives from both sides, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. He is much too young to be able to file this away in his memory so we will have to take lots of pictures for him to look at when he is older. Jeeeez! I have to remember to buy those camera batteries -----

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Today was an absolutely beautiful day. Lots of sunshine and temps in the upper 50's.

I got up early so I could get some cleaning done and took my wonderful dog for a 1/2 hour walk. We walked down to the park near our house. It was deserted. We were the only ones there and I wanted to let her off her leash so she could romp and play but I didn't dare. She might have picked up the scent of another animal and taken off......and then her ears seem dysfunctional! It isn't like she is tied up constantly. Our yard is big enough for her to run in and most of the time when she goes outside one of us is with her so there is no need to tie her up.

That is, until today. We have 3 acres behind our home that has been for sale and listed as a commercial property. However, it is a very wet area, swampy in spots, and I think it would take a lot to fill it to be able to build anything there. At least I'm hoping so. It really makes a nice buffer between us and another street. It makes me feel like I am more in the "country". Not that I live in a big city. On the contrary, our town is pretty small but we are only 30 minutes from a large metropolis area.

Today I heard this noise outside that sounded like a semi was stuck so I glanced out the back window and saw a tractor with a brush hog on the back mowing down the 3 acres. My first thought was "oh no! They finally sold that land......D___! My husband won't be happy with that idea." I waited until he was out of work and called his cell. I was right, he wasn't happy, but we couldn't be sure that the property had been sold at this point.

When he got home, he came in the house, pet the dog, gave me a kiss and said that he was going to go talk to the man on the tractor. Well, it turns out that the property isn't sold. The real estate company that has it listed hired someone to mow it down to make it more attractive to perspective buyers. Tractor man told Hubby that the realty people hadn't had any bites on this listing in over 5 months. I'm thinking that's a good thing! Hubby was happier about someone just mowing it than someone purchasing it, too! But now we have all this open area in plain view for the dog. And she is chomping at the bit to go and sniff everything out there and do a through investigation. So much for keeping her under control and within the confines of our yard.

Mowing it down has destroyed some of the natural habitat for the rabbits which is a sad thing. The dog likes chasing them too. But there also might be a good side. Maybe it destroyed the nasty "box elder" bug (or box elderly bugs, as my granddaughter calls them) habitat! I can only hope!

Sunday, October 23, 2005


We have this dog. We got her from a rescue shelter 3 years ago. She was the strangest looking dog I had ever seen. She was stripped like a tiger cat and her head was shaped like some kind of shepard puppy. She was awfully little for 11 weeks old. I remember she trembled a lot.....A LOT! She was so strange looking she seemed exotic. It was sort of a combination of us choosing her and her choosing us.....kind of a mutual thing. The usual granddaughter was with us......she was 7 at the time. The dog rode home on the granddaughter's lap.......I believe it was love at first sight on both parts.

The dog seemed sickly so within two days we had her to the vet. After a thorough examination we were told that she was full of parasites. You name it, she had it! Everything except heart worms. She had fleas and ticks and hookworms, and roundworms and pin worms and even a tapeworm. Poor little thing. No wonder she only weighed 7 pounds. After shelling out several $20. bills we were on our way back home with the hopes that she would recover fairly fast. And fortunately for us she did just that.

After several more visits to the vets office for immunization and further examinations to make sure all parasites had been eradicated the vet asked us where we had found such a unique dog. When we told him from a rescue center he asked if they had any information on her parents. We were told that her mother was a pure bred boxer and her father was a "sneaky neighborhood dog". The vet then concluded by her shape and size that her father was most likely some kind of shepard.....either German, Australian or perhaps an Australian Cattle Dog which is different than an Australian Shepard. I think that I forgot to mention that she has a purple tongue, which Chows have but the vet assured us that other breeds also have purple tongues and it was a sign of intelligence. Her parentage didn't matter to us for we had fallen deeply in love with her.

She was an intelligent dog. She was housebroken in 2 weeks, and was already doing tricks for milkbone treats. She continued to learn quickly and so did we. She was getting us well trained too. After she eats her supper, she stands and barks and paws at the floor to let us know that it is now time to go out for a romp. And being trained as well as we are, we accommodate her.

Saturday, October 22, 2005


I am posting this poem for a dear friend of mine who is in need of encouragment. You know who you are! : )


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit ~
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a person turns about
When they might have won had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow ~
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late
When the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out ~
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, ~
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit!

I realize, dear Friend, that this may not quite fit your circumstances but I wanted you to know that you are loved. Consider this a "warm, fuzzy hug!"

Friday, October 21, 2005


The first frost has finally arrived here. Not a killing, hard frost, but none the less a frost! Gosh how I love that cold, crisp, fresh air when I take the dog out in the morning. Mind you, I don't wish to stay out in it for long but the way that it hits you in the face sure is an eye opener!

The leaves are turning a beautiful array of colors. Yellows, bright reds, magentas, golds and oranges mixed in with the still green leaves on some trees is truly a lovely sight. I didn't used to like the fall since it signaled the coming of winter and that means SNOW! Well, it's not the actual snow that I dislike, it's the slippery roads. But I'm getting ahead of myself with this talk of winter.

How I love to go on our annual "color tour" in the fall. This year, with the price of gas, I'm not sure that we will go. Of course, fitting it in this year has become a monumental task also. This is our first fall in this house and there sure is a lot to do.
For the last 10 years we lived in a mobile (excuse me....politically correct : manufactured home) in a manufactured home community. We had a small rented lot with absolutely no trees. Our new home has four huge trees, plus many adjacent trees on other nearby properties. Needless to say there will be a lot of leaves to be raked after they have finished their cycle and gently float down to my yard. I'm sure the grandchildren will love jumping in the huge piles that will be produced upon raking. Oh my back! I can feel the stiffness and soreness already. But watching the joy on their faces will be quite worth the effort involved. It will trigger memories of my childhood. Of course then I didn't worry about sore muscles; didn't even know what sore muscles were. Ahh the bliss and innocence of childhood.........but I'd rather be who I am at the age I am than to go back and have to learn everything all over, sore muscles and all!

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Couldn't let this day pass without honoring it even though I am really feeling crummy today. Woke up at 3:30 this morning needing to hurl! Have a bad headache and have thrown-up few more times since then. I'm so very tired. Anyway......

If my first husband had not succumbed to the cancer that was ravaging his body 30 years ago, he and I would be celebrating our 38 Wedding Anniversary today. Looking back I can remember that day just as plainly as it happened yesterday. I never thought so much happiness could be stuffed into one day......I was wrong. But rather than getting melancholy here, suffice it to say that my life went on, I raised my three children, found love again, remarried and have had a good life. In spite of all that, I feel it is important to remember those special days in my life and to appreciate them for what they were no matter how long they lasted. Even though he was only a part of my life for 8 years, they were 8 very good years. Had I known when I married him that is all the time we would be allowed.......I would have done it anyway. It was worth it. Thinking of you with love today, Dave!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Something for the Grandmothers!

I have done a lot of thinking regarding mothers and motherhood in the past and have turned my most recent thoughts to grandmothers. Could be because I saw three grandchildren yesterday or just because I really enjoy being a Grandma! Anyway, following is a little something for all the Grandmothers:

Today's Grandma

In the dim and distant past
When lifes tempo wasn't fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and babysit.

Grandma now is at the gym
Exercising to keep slim.
Now she' golfing with the bunch,
Taking clients out to lunch.
She's going north to ski and curl
And all her days are in a whirl.

Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.

Way to go, Grandma's! Keeps us young if we can keep up the pace, right?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Today is the 37th birthday of my first born. She has grown into a wonderful, beautiful young woman. I am very proud of her and all she has accomplished.

I had her over to my home this evening for a birthday celebration with one of her favorite! And of course the usual birthday cake and ice cream. The hubby and I gave her a small present that she had been wanting. But in looking back at all of her birthdays, it is I who have received the best presents. The love and the memories that this young woman has given me are more than enough to last any one person more than a lifetime.

The memories began the moment she was born and she looked at me with those beautiful eyes that you can get lost gazing into. Through those eyes I began to see the world in a whole different way. Just the little blowing the white fuzz off a dandelion, a new box of crayons with all the pointed colorful ends staring back at you, a line of ants carrying some tiny speck of food back to their colony, a bee rubbing the pollen he has collected off his antennae. Old hat and simple things to an adult but to a child a whole new magical world. Those are the presents she left me and so many more too numerous to name here.

She said her proper "thank you" for the celebration and the gift; but it is I who should be telling her "Thank you". Thank you for so much more than you will ever know! I love you, Dear!

Monday, October 17, 2005


While attending my grandsons football game a few weeks ago a spectator in the stands was yelling at the team mates that the ball carrier needed some blockers. First of all, I'm sure that they were unable to hear him and secondly I wondered how many games he had played in, if any. How easy it is to sit in the stands and criticize the players and how difficult it must be to keep trying your best only to be beaten in most games!

It reminded me of several years ago when my children were young and played baseball/softball for the summer recreation league in our small town. There at every game was one father who had a child on the same team as one of my children. I had three children at the time so it was inevitable that this man's child would play opposite one of mine.

He was a rather loud and boisterous kind of guy. And the impression I got was that he was always right and his child was better at "everything" than anyone else's child. He would sit in the bleachers and yell at the other kids on his son's team if they would make a mistake. Mind you, he wasn't the coach or the assistant or I'm sure he would have been out on the playing field with the team. Just a loudmouth know-it-all! The things he yelled were rude and totally without thinking. And they were directed at children!

Excuse me! When did Little League become the world series? When did the game start to be more than a game for these kids? I thought I had signed them up to learn sportsmanship and the basics of the game. As it turned out they were learning offensive language and rudeness! All of a sudden this didn't seem like a game anymore and it was no longer fun!

Adults really need to remember that whether they are boys and girls playing little league baseball or highschool students playing on the football team, they are still youth and still learning. They need guidance and acceptance, not ridicule for their efforts.

And with that, I will get off my "soapbox" as my hubby calls it and say....."good night".

Looking through a magazine this morning I found this poem written by Bob Fox and thought it belonged with my most recent post:

"Just A Little Boy"

He stands at the plate with heart pounding fast.
The bases are loaded; the die has been cast.
Mom and Dad cannot help him, he stands all alone.
A hit at this moment would send the team home.
The ball meets the plate; he swings and he misses.
There's a groan from the crowd, with some boos and some hisses.
A thoughtless voice cries "Strike out the bum."
Tears fill his eyes; the game's no longer fun.
So open your heart and give him a break.
For it's moments like this, a man you can make.
Keep this in mind when you hear someone forget.
He's just a little boy and not a man yet.

Sunday, October 16, 2005


We were invited again this year to my Aunt and Uncle's orchard for what they call "Big Apple Day". It is a tradition they began 20 years ago for their grown children and young grandchildren. The invitation reads "Come, Pick, Squeeze, Eat & Take Home"! So we did!

We took one of our granddaughters with us again (the same one that usually accompanies us wherever we go). We had a blast. Picking apples off the trees, helping to cut them up, putting them in the press and turning the crank to squeeze them into cider is quite an experience. This year the granddaughter worked hard turning the crank.....she was probably at that post for at least 3 hours without quitting. She could have quit whenever she wanted but instead chose to stay and keep at it. I was impressed with her "sticktoitiveness"! So were the rest of my relatives. This little girl is 10 years old, weighs about 52 lbs and is pretty petite for her age. But she sure is strong. She even got to take extra cider with her so she could take it to school and share the fruit of her labor with classmates. Let me tell you....she is one proud little girl!

I think this is a great tradition and am happy that they include me and my family. It's the one time of the year that I can visit with so many cousins at once.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the curriculum, but there in the sandbox at kindergarten seemed to be where it was taught. These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. But we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we. And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest of all: Look. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule, love, basic sanitation, ecology, politics, and sane living. Think of what a better world it would be if we all ~ the whole world ~ had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other Nations to always put things back where we found them and always clean up our messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.


While sorting through pictures the better part of the day I found so many treasures. Pictures of my children with their Dad when they were small, mementos of their childhood, things they have made for me in elementary school, letters written to Santa Claus and letters written from Santa to them. How did I ever forget what their early attempts at writing letters looked like! The childish scrawl, the misspelled words and total lack of punctuation have left me with a wonder at how much they had to learn back then. Not only with school work, but life in general.

I had hoped they would grow up with very little emotional pain and strife in their life. Yet, each one of them has had the fair share and survived remarkably well. It's been harder for some than the others and some have brought the adversity on themselves by the choices they have made. But that's the part of living that can't be taught; it has to be learned by each individual as a part of the passage into adulthood.

In looking back I realize that I made some mistakes in those trying teen-age years. I tried to follow something that I had read in the Ann Landers column. I am going to post it with the hopes that those of you with teenagers will also find it to be of some benefit while raising your kids through difficulties in this world:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you take a Milky Way back to the store (with a bite out of it) and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for 2 hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won something, too!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Some thoughts on Mothers.....

After having gazed through many blogs last night when I couldn't sleep, I decided to post today some thoughts about mothers! Following is a poem I learned once. I don't know who the author is or where I even read it first but I think it is a great tribute to all the mothers in the world ~


What would we be without mothers?
How would the world survive?
Who would know how to make rainy days fun and who'd keep the goldfish alive?

Where would we be without mothers?
Who would believe in our dreams?
Where could we turn when we needed to hear that nothing's as bad as it seems?

How could we live without mothers?
Who'd be our chauffeurs and nurses?
And where in the world could we put all the stuff that mothers all keep in their purses?

So all of you mothers out there who have little ones still at home and all of you who have grown children, I think that the job of being a mother is one of the most important ones in the whole world. Be proud of who you are and what you are doing!

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Funny how the events of ones life take place. I was thinking of my father. Today is his birthday. He's been dead for 42 years now. He would have turned 91 today. October was packed full of events for him. The three most important life events....Birth, Death, Marriage....All happened in October for my Dad. He and my Mom were married on the 12th of October. He was discharged from the army on Oct. 19th which is also the day he was killed (many years later) by a drunk driver. It seems odd to me that all these events happened in the same month, albeit years apart.

There are some important life events in October for me, also. My first husband and I married on the 20th of October 1967. Our first born, a daughter, was born a year later on the 18th, just 2 days shy of our first wedding anniversary. Two life altering events within a year. And alter our lives she did! All babies do that....but 'ours was special'! She seemed wise beyond her years from the very start. She would stare at me with her eyes as if she already knew what I was thinking and was trying to convey what she was thinking. This baby girl has now grown into a beautiful young woman with children of her own. The last having been born in October also. Now fast forward 37 years! On the 26th, we will be celebrating the first birthday of our first borns youngest child. A beautiful little boy with curly blond hair and a truly contagious smile and his mother's eyes. I feel as if I'm melting when he looks at me with those eyes so like his mothers. A flood of memories takes me back to his mothers first year of life. And the similarities between him and his mother are astounding. And yet, he is his own person......not like anyone else in this world.....aaahhh, the uniqueness that makes us all indivduals!

When I married again, I acquired two more children. One who was born in October! Another October event. And two years ago one of my sons had a daughter born on the 19th. Now the day my Dad died has taken on a new meaning. Still with sadness I see this day, but also with some new memories to make around a little girl's birthday.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A different view of TIME......

My friend, Clew wrote a piece on "Time" and it triggered a memory of something I had read a long time ago. Here it is to the best of my memory......

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge and all the others, including love. One day, it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then, Richness was passing buy in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, could I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere." Then, Love decided to ask Vanity for help, who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you," Vanity said. "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry but I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me along with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come, Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "But, why did Time help me when no one else would?" Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Monday, October 03, 2005


and a few other things. Not necessarily wanted things, but they have arrived none the less.

I opened the blinds this morning and discovered THEM! THEM meaning the dreaded "box elder bugs". They either hatched or just swarmed due to the unseasonably warm weather we have been having. There must have been thousands of them. This being the first year in our new home I didn't have a clue as to how to get rid of them. Thank goodness for the internet! But, much to my chagrin, there isn't any thing on the market that is really effective in controlling (by controlling I mean killing) them this time of year.

According to the internet the best way to get rid of them if they have infested your house is to vacuum them up. So, hubby decided to take his shop vac to them on the outside of the house. I'm sure that if the neighbors saw him outside vacuuming they must be thinking "ah, the new folks are either really clean, or really crazy". Trust me, the later one is probably truer! It looks as if he got the majority of them which is great since he burned the motor up in his shop vac sucking the varmint up. But it feels like an even trade to me......1 vacuum versus thousands of red and black flying pests! We will replace the shop vac soon.........then, "have vac, will travel!"

Thursday, September 29, 2005

A MEMORY .....

I was cutting up some ring bologna tonight for a snack with cheese and crackers and my mind was wandering as usual. I don't know why I remembered this so clearly but if I close my eyes I can picture it anew.
My children are small and we are visiting their grandparents, my deceased husband's parents. Grandpa is slicing up some ring bologna and the grandchildren are standing there waiting for the pieces he always cuts for them. But it's the cutting of the bologna and the look on Grandpa's face that I remember the most. It was a look of utter enchantment! I didn't think anything of it at the time but tonight when the memory came flooding back I wondered why I didn't see it then.
Grandpa and Grandma loved those children with there entire hearts. Especially after their son, my children's father, passed away. But the love on Grandpa's face as he cut the bologna for those much loved grandchildren was absolutely beautiful and I wonder now how cutting up bologna can be done with so much love. He painstakingly cut the thin skin off every piece so they wouldn't choke on it and always winked at them as he handed each piece to them. He seemed to gain so much pleasure from doing this simple task for these small ones. In the eyes of small children, Grandpa must have seemed like a giant. I guess I found it strange that this giant of a man would take such great care and reap such pure unadulterated pleasure from this pastime.
This probably doesn't make any sense to anyone who reads this, but it is my memory and I'm tucking it away as a keepsake to tell those grandchildren, my children, when I feel the time is right.
Don't be fooled by me,
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
Within as well as without, that confidence is my name
and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!
My surface may be smooth but my surface is a mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complaisance.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my
weaknesses and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own
self-built prison walls, from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
That glance is the only thing that assures me that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good and you'll see this
and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game.
With a facade of assurance without
And a trembling child within,
So begins the parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks,
And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing,
And nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.
Hear what I'd like to say.
I dislike hiding. Honestly. I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the
superficial phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise. It will not be easy for you.
Long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong, the nearer you approach me
The blinder I m ay strike back. Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
You wonder who I am?
You shouldn't. For I am every man and every woman who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me. At least not by the face I wear.
~Author Unknown~

I erased it all.......all gone. I was angry at something, someone, everything. I gave into that anger and by doing so, let someone else control me. Wrong, so wrong to let that happen. I won't do it again! I am my own person, my own self and I am in control. At least in as much control as any of us are in this world. So with that, I am back! Hello World!