isn't always easy, but it's the best thing to do.
I chose not to attend Christmas Eve festivities at hubby's moms this year. For all my regular visitors you may recall the events of last July that set me on this course. For newer visitors suffice it to say that some things transpired causing bad feelings toward his family on my part!
In my absence Christmas Eve, my daughter-in-law was put on the spot and questioned as to why I wasn't there. In the last few months I have heard they have questioned other family members about whether or not I had some kind of problem with them and everyone chose to remain silent and pretend they didn't know anything. My daughter-in-law(DIL) decided to speak up and say something. I don't mind that she did. My thoughts are that they should have come to me directly instead of questioning people behind my back, but what's done is done. DIL knew of the problem since she and the entire rest of the family were at my home on this July day for a get-together for our daughter, Rachel, who was visiting from Kentucky.
So tonight I decided to call the sis-in-law that was doing the questioning and firmly but politely explained once and for all the reason for my distance from the family. She said how sorry she was that this incident caused hard feelings but she doesn't remember it this way and her feelings were hurt by me on this same day. I tried to explain to her that at least four other family members remember the incident exactly the way I said it happened and what she was referring to never even happened and she didn't have any reason to have hurt feelings even if what she was referring to DID happen! She thanked me for calling and explaining so at least they would know why I was staying away.
Nothing is resolved, but at least now they know that if my grandchildren are not considered part of this family, I am not part of this family either!
Although it remains an unresolved issue, at least the air has been cleared on my part and I have no feelings of guilt over missing the holiday celebration!