Wednesday, January 02, 2008

It hasn't stopped snowing for 3 days now. Not constantly, but off and on. Enough on to accumulate enough snow to cancel school for today. It would have been the first day back after Christmas break. I have talked to a few moms who are not at all happy with the snow day. Obviously a different breed of women than me. I used to love Christmas break. Actually, I loved every break when the kids were home and we had a more relaxed schedule. I loved having the kids around all the time. So much in fact, that during school breaks and summer vacations, we always had extra kids hanging around and in our home. Makes me wonder if kids are much more misbehaved than they were when mine were young. Or could it be that woman have changed and most no longer wish to be bothered with having to be responsible for children all day long.

I hear many of them talk about how the house is always a mess and the kids fight and just don't listen to what they tell them and they are tired of being ignored and being made to feel like slaves picking up after the kids constantly. I say.....WHAT? I never felt like that. My kids were taught respect........respect for me and respect for their belongings. Leave them lying around and you would lose them and have to 'buy' them back from me after I gathered them up and stored them in my closet. Which, btw, was "MY" closet and not a public place for children to go snooping. And they respected that too! Maybe the problem lies with the parenting skills and forgetting to teach them respect. I see so many parents being what I refer to as 'armchair' parents. Meaning they sit where they are comfortable and tell the kids what to do......repeatedly. But do not make any effort to actually get up and make sure what they have said is being followed through on.

I'm not advocating constant yelling at them or by no means beating on them! But maybe you need to show them that you mean what you say and there are or will be consequences for not listening and doing as you are told. Or is it just easier for them to let things pass than to deal with them. But what do they think these kids will be like when they are 15 and 16 years old and older? Do they think at that age there is some magical pill to give them that will make them responsible and respectful? Not going to happen people! Maybe I'm just getting too old and can't accept the change in parenting ways......but I don't see it for the better!

11 comments:

Ame said...

*cough* *cough* *ahem* *cough*

i was one of those moms glad my kids went back today ... i love having them home, but we all needed the routine back as we'd become so lax ... and i'm terrible about cleaning house while they're here. guess i'm on the *naughty* list ;(

***

LOVE LOVE LOVE your new site!!!!!

HoBess said...

Thanks for always checking in ... glad you had such wonderful holidays. We did, too!

And I understand both sides of the coin on this one, Martie. I do think there is a lot of armchair parenting, but I'm also glad when restless kids who miss their friends get to go back to school after Christmas break :)

A brave post. *Hugs to you*

martie said...

Oh, I hope I haven't offended anyone. Sorry, if I did! In this post, I was referring to those Moms, who don't like having thier kids around hardly any of the time because it interferes with what they really want to do.......which doesn't consist of spending any time with their offspring.

Rachel said...

I too, will be glad when my two oldest children go back to school. They also had a snow day today and will also have one tomorrow considering we live in the boonies. I agree with kids this days not being as behaved as older children. I don't think I ever behaved as badly as my kids do, but sometimes my parents say differently, lol.

Renee said...

I'm so with you, Martie. You definitely didn't offend me. My kids get away with things that I never would have dared to do or say as a child. I'm working on it though.

Spellcaster said...

As of right now, I feel like I don't get any time alone anymore because I am currently working in the same school district that my kids go to so when I get time off, they have the SAME schedule! I do love spending time with them but where is my mommy time? LOL!! I totally get what you are saying though! :)

Shawny Sun said...

You didn't offend me. I totally agree with alot of what you said though I've not ever been a mom. I think the world in general lacks a sense of respect. I sometimes wish I had grown up during my grandparent's time. Things were so much different but harder. I also wonder if maybe the fast paced lifestyle of today tires parents. My grandparents had lots of brothers and sisters. The household was always full of children. But things moved at a much slower pace too. People grew their own food. The kids actually worked on the farm. So I doubt they had much energy for causing trouble. LOL Back then, you earned your keep. Kids don't work hard like that today. I didn't even work hard like that though I did have chores.

Hugs

clew said...

You KNOW I totally agree with all you said about teaching your kids and applying unfailing consistency with what you say ... The pain of snow days for me is that I'm not a stay at home parent - I have to go to work. A day off for the boy often means a day off for one of us too. We aren't one of those couples who are blessed with a huge crowd of relatives casting lots to take the youngster for us. :/

No offense taken - just sayin'! :)

Pearl said...

My mom definitely had rules we had to follow. I later learned to love her very much for giving me some structure. I think most kids want some direction by their parents.

Great post.

Hugs,

Rebecca said...

Martie! I LOVE your new layout. So pretty!!!

I totally agree with the "armchair" parent theory - I've been saying for quite some time that I think it's my generation of parent that's really slipping in the area of truly parenting. It's so much easier to just give in than to parent. I always say it's not the Peace Corp, but parenting that's the "toughest job you'll ever love".

Lori said...

I'm fortunate to work in the same school where my kids attend, so a day off for them means a day off for me - and I LOVE it! None of us were ready to go back to school and I'd have gladly taken another week off, if I'd been paid!

My kids and I have a different type of relationship than I had with my mom - both good, I think, but just different. There's always room for improvement, but for the most part, my kids are respectful and a pleasure to have around. So no offense here....total agreement!