Monday, July 12, 2010

I am tired...............

tired of not being able to do the things I want to do and the things I need to do.  I didn't realize just how physically exhausted this would make me.  Just trying to function from day to day and keep up with the housework and all.  As soon as the house market picks up here, I believe we will be putting our home up for sale and downsizing to perhaps a 2 bedroom all on one floor.  I know a two-story is not workable for me anymore.  There are times I just want to lie down and sleep and never have to get up again.  Feeling this way is so out of character for me and the way I have always felt in the past.  Now, I feel like I am a bother to everyone and more of a hindrance than a help.  I have always been the one people have turned to when they needed help.............and I just can't do that anymore.  It saddens me to think that this is what it has come down too.  But, I guess it is what it is and there is nothing I or anyone can do about it.  Unless they come up with some new technology to be able to fix the health problems I have.............and I hope and pray that they do!

4 comments:

Katie's Mom said...

Martie, never,ever let it get you down. It's too hard to get back up again. After 5 hip replacements, which means a vast muscle loss, and three reductions (they popped out of place and had to be popped back in) and all the sedation and pain meds; my husband's death, and a follow up of panic and anxiety, I found myself wondering why I'm taking up space. I was outgoing, out front, afraid of nothing, looking forward to enjoying my new life and then the bottom fell out. Thanks to a wonderful little angel in dog fur and some very special people in my life along with the Lord, I'm beginning to start putting my life back together again. It's not necessarily what I had in mind but then I've discovered that whenever I make plans, God sits up there and has a really good belly laugh. But even with the occasional tap on the shoulder from the anxiety ogre, and concern about the hips, I'm coming back. I've scratched some items from my bucket list but I've added others that don't require the physical or maybe even the mental or emotional "stuff". Hang on, kiddo, even on those days when you just want to hide under the covers. I'll keep you in my daily prayers and you'll find your way through this. God Bless!!!

janeywan said...

Marty,

This is not healthy thinking but still I hear ya. Just know the world wouldn't be the same without ya, sick or well. Keep the faith and know your thought of fondly by all!

Hugs,
Janet

Sunshine said...

(((((Martie)))))

martie said...

Thanks my friends....I do appreciate the pep talks and they do help when I'm feeling down! You guys are the best!