What a day!

I spent all of yesterday with my husband's Aunt and her brother at a local hospital.

Uncle has had several health problems over the years and the latest being throat cancer.  He has had his voice box and other tissue and muscles in his neck removed.  The last time he was in Ann Arbor, they told him there was nothing more they could do for him. 

My hubby has always been good about helping people.  So when the call came in yesterday at 5AM and he was going out the door to work, there was nothing he could do to help.  I could tell he felt terrible about this because it isn't in his character to not help.  I told him go to work and I will call your Aunt and we will handle whatever needed to be done.  Hubby went to work, I called his Aunt, she picked me up and we both went over to Uncle's apartment.  WOW!  It wasn't anything we were expecting.  I wasn't aware that the beginning of the end would be so messy...............and I won't go into the details here.....they are much to graphic.  And suffice it to say, that I didn't think about what we had to do, we both just pitched in and did it!  We had no other choice.  We did call hospice, which has been offering mild help until he needed further assistance.  Yesterday was the day.  They came and told us to call an ambulance.  And since Uncle didn't want to ride in the ambulance alone and Aunt drove and Uncle wanted me to ride with him and hold his hand.  I did so and it wasn't a pleasant experience other than knowing that he wasn't alone with strangers.

Upon arrival at the hospital and getting into an ER room, I had no idea that hospice patients with DNR and no life support orders and their families are basically left to deal with the situation in the ER room alone until it becomes necessary for the patients comfort  while the final days of their lives pass.  Uncle has an open stoma in his throat, and the cancer is continuing to grow.  He takes nothing by mouth and the only air he gets is through this stoma.  Needless to say that while coughing and breathing out, any secretions will be spewed out this stoma.  When it became noticeable that he was having trouble breathing they called in the respirator team and they discovered that he had a large blood  clot that he was unable to cough out.  The man was literally dieing from strangulation.  To watch someone struggle just to breath is one of the scariest situations I have run into. They did suction it out for him and placed a special stoma respirator over the stoma to help him.  They were very helpful with keeping him comfortable after that with pain meds but the total care of any secretions being expelled were left to Aunt and I.  They decided since they could not get a bed that day for him at the VA Hospital, they would move him to the Cancer Center there.  He did get much better care there. 

Today he is awaiting transfer to the VA Hospital and will be on palliative care and hospice until the end comes.  I can tell you, it was quite an experience and one I hope to never have to go through again.  At this time, I would like to tell every nurse and care taker out there how much more respect and admiration I have for them and what they are required to do!  I could never do this kind of thing on a regular basis.  By the time I got home last night at about 6:30PM, I couldn't wait to jump in the shower and get some clean cloths on.  And about 4 hours after being home and cleaned up, I fell apart!

God Bless all the Palliative Care and Hospice Workers!!!!!

Hump Day.............

and I just found out, almost a week after receiving it, that I was the recipient of an award given to me by my good friend and adopted daughter.  Thanks Clew!  I do feel special and now that I have it, I almost feel guilty for not posting as much as I use to..........but not quite guilty enough!  However according to Clew, I am supposed to choose ten people to give this award to.  Although there are many blogger friends who deserve this award and it will be tough to choose, I wish I could give it to all of you.  First there is Jaynewan who writes some wonderful things about what she sees and where she lives.  And I can't forget my good friend Mary Anne, who lives on an island with the most beautiful scenery for miles around and is a very intelligent and interesting writer, and who happens to be an RN.  She is a fabulous writer and person!  Another one is Rebecca, who has some very interesting things that she writes about too.  And since I haven't been keeping up on my blogging or reading, I am at a loss as to whom else to chose.  Some of the ones I would have chosen were already picked by Clew, so until I can think of others, this will have to do for now!  And once again, thanks Clewy for the award you bestowed upon me!

Stupid commercials!

I don't usually rant and rave about something I've seen on television, but this has really ticked me off.

There is a commercial out for a 'no touch' soap dispenser. It advertises that the other soap dispensers are covered with germs when you touch the top to dispense the soap. Do these people really think we are all idiots? That we can't figure out that if you pick up germs from the touchable soap dispenser to get soap in your hand to wash, that the antibacterial soap you have in your hand will not destroy the germs you may have picked up from the top of the soap dispenser.

I mean, really, the tactics manufacturers will stoop too in order to get the public to purchase their products. And what an insult to our intelligence!

I guess it's really trivial in comparison to the over all conditions we all face in this world............but this one just pushed me over the top!

Good Night!

No storms today!

Well, even though thunderstorms were predicted for today, they never showed up. And now I am glad I didn't mention it to the girls (our dogs) or they would have been restless and worried for no reason. In fact it ended up being quite a nice day! Sunshine and highs in the high 50's.

I made dinner for our oldest daughter and her family. They moved into their new home recently and are still trying to get settled in. They are living in the basement while they finish the upstairs which will eventually be the main living quarters and main floor. But it is quite cozy the way they have it set up in the walkout basement. Anyway, I thought it would be easier for them if they didn't have to stop and take time away from unpacking to cook. I took them lemon pepper chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli. Forgot the dessert............ice cream.....left it home in the freezer but that's okay, you can bet that I'll eat it!

My daughter-in-law took their dinner over to them the other night..........she took chicken spaghetti and garlic bread and a homemade peanut butter pie which is to die for. It was so nice of her to do that........but she is a great gal and comes from a great family........our lives have been enriched since she joined our family!

Well, it's getting late, and I need to work tomorrow, so this is abiento.............goodbye in French!

Storms!

We had a couple of big storms roll through here late last night and ealry this morning. Lots of thunder, lightening and high winds!

I happen to live with two dogs who don't like storms. One is absolutely terrified and is very hard to console and the other one just seems to need to be close by. Well, in all reality they both need to be close by. Either on the bed or right next to where I am, sitting or sleeping, and have my hand touching them. A foot is just not good enough! So if the power goes out and your are trying to read a book with a flashlight as long as the 'girls' won't let you sleep anyway, it is near impossible unless you are very adept at holding the flashlight in your mouth and turning pages with your feet if you are lucky enough to be able to get them that high!

They (the meteoroligistsa) are predicting more thunderstorms for tonight). I can only hope that they are terribly wrong with their predictions!!!

I did it and I'm not sorry!

Okay, I gave my 2 week notice yesterday and my last day of work will be April 15th. And since I only work part-time anyway (Wed., Thurs, and Fri) I only have 6 days left to work. Normally it would be five, but I am commited to filling in for the girl I job share with on April 12th while she goes to a doctor appointment. But The 12th is only a 3 hour day, where Wed. and Thurs. still are whole days. It is what it is.............and that's that!

Job hours cut!

Well, my hours at work have been cut again. Last time I had to take a cut in pay and hours. This time they just want a cut in hours. That would give me only 9 hours a week to work. I'm thinking it really isn't worth my time to go in for 3 hours, 3 days a week! It will cut my pay in half too. It takes effect April 19Th. I have upcoming doctor visits and decisions to be made concerning my health, so I'm thinking it's best just to give my notice and that would give me just 8 more days to work. But with Tom laid off, is it the smartest decision to make. The amount of pay I would make would make in two weeks would probably buy groceries for a week, but with the price of gas rising all the time, I'm wondering if I can justify continuing to work! I receive no benefits from working part-time and don't receive any holiday pay. They would still want me to drive to corporate headquarters a couple times a year to fill in full-time for the front desk gal who would be going on vacations, but even that doesn't amount to that much and corporate headquarters is another 20 miles of driving every day added to what I now drive.

So, I am just venting and putting it down in writing to better help me think it through and come up with a solution that is best for me at this time.

9 days into the New Year............

and it is my oldest grandsons birthday. He is 21 today..........the official entry into adulthood! But he's been an adult since he was 18 at least and perhaps even before that. Always a responsible young man with wisdom beyond his years in age.....always kind, considerate and polite. I've never heard him speak rudely to anyone, not even his siblings. His sister Em will be 18 in April and his little brother, Drew was just 5 the end of October, 2009. Steve has always been one of Drew's biggest fans and vice versa. They absolutely adore one another..........it shows on both their faces when Steve walks in the door coming home from college for a visit! A rare thing in today's world of older siblings being too busy to have time for younger ones.........especially with the age difference between these two! It is amazing and awesome just to watch them interact together. Yet they are a very close knit family and I guess I should give credit where credit is due. My daughter (who is 41 now and I'm still pondering how she got that old) has been such a great influence on all her kids. If there were such a thing as a 'Wonder Mom' she would have that title. She was always patient and kind and listened to their explanation before doling out any kind of punishment.............she didn't learn that from me! I can really say that I admire and respect her.............she deserves both, if not more!

So this is a Happy Birthday to Steve, our first born grand child, and to my daughter, for without her, Steve wouldn't be here or who he is.

How did I get so blessed!

Deer season once again!

It seems like 'deer season' rolls around all too fast lately. Tom has left this evening for the U.P. and his annual 2 week deer hunting trip. Although I wonder why he goes every year since there are way more deer in the lower peninsula due to the wolf population in the upper peninsula killing off a lot of the deer. I suspect it has much more to do with he camaraderie with the guys than the actual shooting of a deer!

This year it was much harder to watch him go than the last few years. It is probably due to the fact that he was in the hospital just a couple weeks ago with a 95% blockage in his right coronary artery and they also found an aneurysm that they were also able to fix. The doctors gave him a clean bill of health to go, yet my mind has trouble wrapping around the fact that he will be okay after such a short recovery period. I can't believe a person can be at deaths door one day and two weeks later be okay to travel 12 hours away into a remote area with no easy access to health care if needed. I know I worry too much, but after burying one husband, I am not really looking forward to having to do it again. And for whatever reason, this year I feel more alone than ever before. Perhaps because the kids are all busy with their own families, and the grand kids are growing up and not wanting to come and stay here like they use too. I have the two dogs, but they seem more work than company of late. Probably because one of them is 11 months old and still a puppy and a lot of work. And she pesters the older dog until she gets upset and barks and that drives me nuts. Maybe I am just getting too old for all of this stuff. Plus working part-time most weeks and full-time some weeks, just seems to get me down and depressed to the point of not feeling like doing anything at all. It even seems like a chore to get on the computer and type most nights.

Well, enough complaining...................going to go and read a bit and see if that helps. Until next time.....................

October 26, 2009 ~ Drew's 5th Birthday

Last time I wrote was around the middle of September and I was talking about some of the leaves already having changed color. Well, here it is toward the end of October and many of the leaves have fallen off the tress already while still in the summer color of green. The wind and the rain has caused them to fall before they even had chance to transform the trees into a beautiful shade for us to enjoy! My best guesstimate would be that half the trees are half bare already. The ones with most of their leaves still hanging on them, are very pretty though. The reds, yellows, oranges, Burgundies and gold ones still mixed with some of the green ones make a very pretty picture to see! I happened to see a tree on Saturday while running errands that had all if not most of its leaves still on. What was so interesting about this tree was that along the top and upper branches, the leaves had begun to turn different colors. Some were gold, some were orange, some were red, etc. All on the same tree with the solid green below it just struck me as being strange, yet beautiful in it's own way. I may just go back and take a pic of it so You can all see what I mean!

Work seems to be going okay............I may be taking my Tuesdays back and giving up the half day on Friday. My co-workers husband has found new employment and they just sold one of the houses they had been fixing up to help make extra money. It had only been on the market for 2 weeks and it sold. I'm happy for them, so she may not need that extra day of Tuesday's that I gave her. I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about it.

Well, if I am ever going to get this computer room organized, now is the time I should be doing it..........so that is what I am off to do. I'll be back..........eventually!

Almost Autumn

Well, I have been very busy.......doing what exactly I don't know. Just working and family stuff mostly. I can't believe that it is almost fall already. I feel as if I have missed the summer season again this year. Not that summer was really very summer like this year. It was a tad bit on the cool side for summer in Michigan. Plus the fact that Amber nor as many grand children came to spend time with us made it seem like school was still in session........sigh! And now that school has started up for this year, they will all be busy doing their own things and we will see them even less. But that is life.............children and grandchildren grow up and actually become people with lives of their own and interests of their own and friends of their own. They are busy just growing up, and that is what life is about after all! Sort of that 'one season following another' type thing. Life follows patterns just as the seasons do.

And speaking of the seasons, I am really looking forward to enjoying this fall season. The trees in Southwest Michigan have begun to change colors........not all of them, but some are beginning to and I am ready to watch and see what kind of a masterpiece the Lord will paint for our enjoyment this year! I love the cool, crisp feel to the air too. To me it just has a different smell to it. But then each season in Michigan does have it's own smell.............and that is one of the reasons I love living here so much. The only thing I would ever change would be the snow. Now mind you, I love to look at it, and even go out and play in it still............what I don't like about it is the accumulation on the road where I must try and navigate to work, the grocery store and anywhere else my errands take me. If we could just do something about keeping it off the roads I would have no complaints at all about the winter time. And now that I've said that, it seems like a good time to close and go outside and enjoy what is left of the beautiful weather that Michigan has to offer.

Well it is happening. Amber is growing up so fast, she is outgrowing us! I know that is the way things go as they become teenagers, still it is hard! It is like letting go of another child and realizing that a part of the relationship you once had is gone and nevermore to be! I just hope she can get the guidence and support that she still needs at her age from her mom or another female figure who is a big part of her life! I miss her so!

My daughter the photographer.............

does an awesome job. She is not a professional, at least not yet, but in my opinion is good enough that she could and should be one!

She took these photos of some of our family, her children, our grandchildren,including some fantastic shots of Amber.

Puppy

Here are the more recent pictures of the pup....although she is only a pup in her actions. She is way too big to be considered a puppy any more. These pics were taken within the last couple of months.
In fact, these first two were taken just last night. She had just finished tormenting us and the other dog, Prancer and was looking for more mischief to get into. I wanted to get some of her before she went to the vet today to be spayed. We both took her so she wouldn't be mad at just one of us. Much to our chagrin, we needn't have felt too badly about it. She went with the vet technician happy as a lark, with tail wagging and never even so much as a glance over her shoulder to see us. I thought she would have looked rather forlorn as we left her with strangers but obviously I thought we were more important than we really are! Although, I am thinking that by the time we pick her up tomorrow morning she will be plenty glad to see us and more than happy to return home. At least I'm trying to convince myself of that!

And this last photo needs an explanation. It is a little dark and I apologize for the lack of photo retouching before I posted it. She had discovered her own reflection in the glass fireplace doors and was jumping at the doors and barking rather furiously at the other dog staring at her. We had a pretty good laugh while she was carrying on. She even took it to the next level of hilarity when she spotted hubs reflection in there too!

Weddings and Graduations

Here it is, the end of May. Memorial Day weekend is over and the unofficial start of summer has begun. And with it come the many weddings and graduations that take place in the month of June. My work has been busy helping brides and grooms order wedding invitations and graduates graduation invitations. It is always a busy time of year for that.

I, as you may know, have been filling in for a gal at corporate headquarters the last few weeks while she recovers from her surgery. The time spent there was quite educational really. I learned a lot of what goes on that we don't see while working in a satellite office. I know now that we must be more detailed in taking classfied ads from walk-in customers and those that call on the phone. Classifieds is a very demanding and busy part of the paper I work at. And though it's been educational, I am exhausted from working the extra hours. The position I am filling in for is full-time, and I usually work part-time. I know it's only two more days per week than my usual work week, but it seems to take it's toll. But I will be returning to my office Tuesday, June 2 and it will almost seem like a vacation. I will work the rest of this week and Monday of next week at corporate and then back at 'my' office amd my regular schedule. I have accumulated comp time and am planning on using a couple days in late June. My baby sister is coming home for a visit from Denver and I will take some time off to spend with her and my older sister. I am looking forward to having a good time with my only two siblings!

I had planned on posting some new photos of our pup, Cocoa, but something is wrong with the transfer process from camera to computer. I have some more recent ones than are already posted, but I wanted to post the latest ones too so all could see how much she has grown.

Sunday - the beginning............

October 2008 - Grandma and Hub at Grandma's 90 Birthday Party

of another work week. I am supposed to be ironing something to wear to work tomorrow. I seem to be putting it off as long as possible. Perhaps my thinking is that if I don't do it, tomorrow won't come! In all reality I know that won't happen, but in my mind I don't seem able to accept that concept!

It has been a rather ghoulish week for us. Hub's 91 1/2 year old grandma passed away on Monday April 27Th about 4PM. We arrived at about 4:20PM thinking we would be able to say our goodbyes. Grandma couldn't wait........weeks ago she told me that it was 'taking just too damn long to die!' She was more than ready and last summer the doctors informed us that she probably wouldn't see another winter. What did they know? Grandma fooled them all.........she probably stuck around just to embarrass them.....that's the kind of stubborn she was! But she was a dear old lady and I loved her. Coming into the family only 19 short years ago, she didn't have to accept me as a grandchild......yet she did. And she accepted all my kids as great-grandchildren and my grandchildren as great-great grandchildren. She was a classy lady and I learned a lot from her.....too many things to list here. Oh, they weren't things like knitting or any kind of needlecraft.......it was things about life that she had learned and just listening to her I learned. Go in peace Grandma, have that dance with Grandpa Joe in Heaven. I can picture the look upon your face when you met our Maker face to face!

The day of visitation at the funeral home wasn't too difficult for the older ones, but the younger ones......say early 20's and under had a hard time with it all. The only hard time us older ones had was when an old and dear family friend came to pay her respects and dropped dead of a cardiac arrest two feet from Grandma's casket. She wasn't pronounced dead at the funeral home. They took her by ambulance to the nearest hospital but I know she was dead before she even hit the floor. So the day after Grandma's funeral, we had to go back to the same funeral home and the same room to pay our respects to our old and dear family friend.....the only thing we can say about it is that she passed away fast and didn't suffer with friends near her and we were able to contact her family right away.

I have several drafts started and never finished because I ran out of time. I will get to them in the near future I hope, and now I must go and iron, and then turn in for some much needed sleep.

"Cocoa ~ The Not So Magic Magician"

Cocoa is growing every day. Soon she won't be a puppy any more and I'm thinking that might be a good thing! The other day while I was doing dishes and she was laying underfoot once again, she got up and wandered into the dining area. I did have a rather tall round table covered nicely with a floor length table cloth and sitting on top was a lovely plant that had been sent to me by a friend after my open heart surgery 6 years ago.

It's a miracle that I kept it alive and thriving for that long. It WAS the only live plant in the house!

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement that resembled a magician pulling a table cloth out from under a table set with dishes and silverware. Only this wasn't any magician, it was Cocoa! The plant didn't stay on the table! This is what it looked like.........
........and this is Cocoa after I was done scolding her.


As you can see, she wasn't terribly upset with the scolding she received. She promptly went to sleep and left me to clean up the damage! I hope this isn't going to be a "Marley and Me" type of happening. She doesn't seem to be catching on or at least she is leading me to think that she is not catching on! I really do think that she is highly intelligent and she is manipulating me! Prancer is taking an interest in her. Albeit, it may be an interest that is being forced upon her by Cocoa. Prancer plays with her now and shares her water bowl even though Cocoa thinks she needs to swim in it or wade through it. Prancer just looks at her as if to say "must you put your feet in here when I am trying to drink?"

I keep hoping that Prancer will help train this unruly pup! She has already let her know that she is the alpha female dog and Cocoa has been the recipient of several roll-overs and nips that have made her yipe. Mind you, she has deserved every chastising Prancer has doled out..........and many more that Prancer has let slide! She is learning........but I think she will be in the puppy stage for at least a year and a half no matter if she attains her full growth by then!

But she has captivated our hearts and we wouldn't give her up for anything.........unless.......NO, I mustn't think that way. Here is a photo of her from two nights ago..........see how big she is getting!

Geese flying

Geese flying
Originally uploaded by groovyholly

While driving to work the other morning, I spotted a formation of geese flying north. A sure sign that spring is on its way! As I travelled further down the road, I saw another group in the same 'v' formation heading in the same direction. There are other signs too. The maple trees in my backyard are beginning to bud. I haven't seen any growth of my flowers that come back every year, but I am sure they are just lying dormant, waiting for the mositure and sun to coax them into pointing their little heads up for all to see and rejoice in.

It has been a very long, hard winter in Michigan, as well as elsewhere, I'm sure. And I imagine that every one of you is as anxious for spring to arrive as I am. I even heard one of our local meteorlogists say that he was tired of winter and ready for spring!

It is beautiful outside today. The thermometer says it's only 43º out there but I was out sitting in just my jeans, shoes and sweater keeping an eye on Cocao and Prancer and it certainly felt warmer than that in the sun. In fact, I'm wondering what I am doing inside on such a nice day off? So I will end this and head back out to the great outdoors and enjoy it while I can!

Keeps me laughing.........

this new puppy of ours! She is so funny to watch. She finds so much fun in every day things. Playing with an empty tissue box, an empty paper bag or a door stop. You know, the ones on a spring that are behind the doors to keep them from hitting the wall when you open them.

And she found herself in a mirror this morning while I was getting ready for work and I stopped and watched her growl and jump at herself and begin to bark as if she were some huge ferocious beast! I couldn't help but laugh at her antics. She thought she was so tough. And all the while, you could tell that she was actually afraid of whatever she saw in the mirror.

Prancer still is not fond of her, but is growing more tolerant of her with each passing day and sometime while outside together she will even play for short periods of time with Cocoa.

Hopefully some day, Prancer will like her! Keeping my fingers crossed on this one!

Here Cocoa is in one of her quiet spells.............they don't last for very long!

Another 4 legged fur child!

Well, we've had a stretch of some warmer weather and sunshine and it spoiled us and made us want more. Mother Nature played a dirty trick and sent a cold snap and more snow to replace the snow that had basically all melted away. When we woke up this morning we had around 3 inches of snow on the ground, but a lot of that has compacted as it sat, so there is maybe 1 1/2 inches left. And that will soon melt away. I know that spring is just around the corner and everyone is anxious for it to arrive. It has been one long, cold and snowy winter!

Amber is here for the weekend. She came Thursday evening so I could take her to her orthodontist appointment yesterday morning. And when we came home, we called and Drew came and spent the night while his mommy and daddy had a night away with friends. They have since picked him up and Amber has gone with Bumpa to take our newest puppy back to her momma. She was over here for a visit to get acquainted with Prancer and the surroundings. It didn't go to badly. This was her second visit and Prancer actually played outside with this little pup for a short time.


These pics are of her on her first visit here last week just before all the snow melted. We are naming her Cocoa and she is 3/4 Lab and 1/4 Australian Shepard. We are hoping they will become companions and fast friends and enjoy one another! We know we will enjoy both of them. Cocoa has already caught on to which door she should go to when she needs to go 'potty'. She seems really smart and with Prancer's help, I'm hoping she will be as easy to train as Prancer was. Sometimes I wonder about the brilliance of getting a puppy while I am gone three full days a week, but she will be in a kennel in the house while we are gone until she can be trusted. Perhaps my judgement is getting worse as I get older! Ha-ha-ha!

And I almost forgot this, but my good blogging friend Smalltown RN presented me with this award. And she was given the award by 'Peppylady'. It's her "Encouragement Award" Whenever Peppylady visits a blog she ends her comments by saying "Coffee's on". Peppylady says this award represents the encouragement people provide her and that the coffee is on and are ready to listen, encourage and even advise. Thank you Smalltown RN for giving it to me. Now I must think of those that I will give it too. This is most difficult as there are many who are great listeners and really deserve this award. I will have to chose:

Pearl at Cameo and Lace

Lori at Thoughts of Laurel

Renee at FroggieMom

And it's not as if these are the only ones who have earned this award........there are many out there who have offered support and encouragement to many over the years. Now I leave it to these three to pass it on to those they find deserving.