Well it has been 35 years ago today that my first husband past away. I remember that day so well.............I wish I could forget it, but I can't.
My sons from that marriage and my current husband of 20+ years have all gone deer hunting and I seriously doubt that my daughter from that first marriage remembers what day it is. It is a bittersweet day...........the ending of one life and the beginning of another. Of course, the other didn't happen until 14 years later, but still it was a new beginning. Yet I never will forget the old!
It was a terrible day for all of us. The children were too young to understand and I was alone without my parents who had passed on a few years before. I had never felt so alone in my whole life. Yet I made it through, with the courage God gave me. So why does every year seem just as hard. Is it because life goes on and the boys and my current husband carry on the tradition of hunting because they all love it. I'm glad they like it, but to me opening day could come on another day so it would not be so hard for me. I spent part of the day with a friend, but it's the night time that is most difficult. Remembering what was, what we had and what is no more to be. Don't misinterpret this, I love my current husband Tom as much as I loved Dave. They have a lot of the same characteristics and both had fine qualities. But, I wonder if you ever get over the death of your first love, the man you had your children with and what your life would have been like if he had lived to help raise them. I can't not think of this anymore..............it becomes too sad and I will not cry over what can never be again. Besides, my current husband, Tom, is a wonderful man and I don't want to do him any disservice by dwelling in the past.
Just remembering!
2 comments:
They were a major part of our lives; he was my life. We can't help but engage in the "what if's" and "might have beens" and our hearts still ache no matter how many years go by. If we had no ache, we'd have no feelings, and no heart and not be what your second husband found in you. Try to not be sad for what you lost, but happy for what you had.
Nothing wrong with remembering him. If I were close, I would have come over and we could have watched a comedy after dark. Hugs
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